The Mysteries of Pooh: Eeyore’s Birthday and the Zodiac

Mysteries of Hollywood | New

IF my memories of yesterday’s outing are correct, then you’ve already been made aware of Eeyore the Gnostic. And so, what are the chances that the one birthday to be celebrated would land in his honor? None whatsoever. That is how we come upon Eeyore again in chapter six, ‘In Which Eeyore Has a Birthday and Gets Two Presents.’ He is staring at his reflection by the edge of a river, exhibiting signs of a midlife crisis, miserable as ever.

Birthdays are self-absorbing and a total bore. No wonder he’s depressed. Back when I was a Copernican, birthdays still sort of meant something. It was like: “Whoa! I just managed another complete orbital and spinning revolution around the sun at Mach 90 speeds, and all I managed for collateral damage was five extra pounds, thanks gravity! That was a total trip, dude!” I mean, 92 million miles and no cosmic collisions, what an accomplishment! Bring out the presents and the cake! But now I totally get it. Saying, “Yay for the motionless plane! Another rotation of the Zodiac and I’m back underneath my astrological sign!” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

So much going on with Eeyore anyways, esoterically speaking, where to even begin? Is that a dragonfly I spy? Yup, Shepard had the nerve to include a dragonfly thinking we wouldn’t notice. Well, I did. Why would he do that except to secure Eeyore’s portrait as a Gnostic? 

[UPDATE 6/11/24] The Mysteries of Pooh

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