Denying Messiah: The Paul Apology

by | Mar 15, 2021


“Who is a liar but he that denieth that Yahusha is the Messiah? He is antichrist, that denieth the Father and the Son.”

1 John 2:22


ONE OF the greatest gifts ever given was coming to learn that certain individuals were praying for me before I came to Torah. They knew me. They knew my research. But I didn’t know Torah as something applicable to my life. And they were praying that I would come to the Truth, which I did. I’ll tell you, there were tears in my eyes to learn that their prayers were answered. Praise Yah.

Over this last year, many people have stated the same. They’ve been praying for me while I went down the hound trail of calling Paul out. And I am so grateful for those prayers. Those prayers deserve consideration. You’re familiar with Paul, right? The Thirteenth Apostle. There is so much rotten fruit among those who deny Paul. Well, that’s not entirely true. There are solid brothers in the faith who love Truth but deny Paul. My ministry partner is one of them. I’m not addressing those with good fruit. This is not an attack against their convictions. I can only speak from my own. And also warn. So, let me rephrase this. Rotten fruit is contagious. If you need this put into a familiar phrase, then the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I finally see where the road leads, and what so many have warned me about. The hound trail continues on, and it crosses a point of no return. Messiah denial.

Yah darkens the eyes of those who choose to leave.

It was only one year ago that I came out against Paul. In that brief jaunt, I have never witnessed so many people in one lifetime turn away from Yahusha HaMashiach, or pleaded with those who make a silly game of it, as if Messiah is a golden calf and this is the “next thing.” Make that two or three lifetimes. The spirit of antichrist is everywhere, and it scares breakfast, lunch, and dinner out of me. After rejecting Messiah, they then turn their gaze in an accusatory tone towards Torah. They are afterwards left to their own despair, fumbling around for a light switch in the dark, and asking themselves: “What is Truth?” Though unknowingly, I had a part in it. For that, I am truly sorry. My heart is broken. And so, putting on the brakes, I am having a very difficult time seeing how the Ruach is part of it. This is cause for reevaluation.

A second matter which will be addressed here is the matter of sin. The Father has convicted me. Of breaking Torah…? Yes, I believe so. I’ve repented of it. And he’s brought me shalom. As part of my turn-around, I have taken down every single article, podcast, and YouTube video which focuses upon Paul as a “false apostle.” It’s not that I’ve necessarily changed my views on Paul. The method of delivery however was wrong. For better clarity, we’ll cover some of that. Meanwhile, I’ve looked into the abyss and I’ve stood on the slippery slope, and I know where it leads. All I can do now is plead. They have mostly fallen on deaf ears.



Core Beliefs


HERE AT The Unexpected Cosmology, I hold as a theme verse Revelation 14:12. Whenever I invite in a guest writer, they’re expected to sign off on it. If they’re an administrator on my channel, they’re expected to as well. It’s how I make sure we’re all on the same page.

Revelation 14:12 states:

“Here is the perseverance of the saints who keep the commandments of Elohim and their faith in Yahusha.”

From this we can glean the following. The perseverance of the saints is defined as those who one: keep the Father’s commands, and two: keep their faith in Yahusha. Or you might even say, the testimony of Yahusha. Several chapters over we learn that these two key points are qualifiers for those who remain written in the Book of Life. Also, Satan is at war with them. Isn’t that interesting, how you can only be scrubbed from the book? Revelation 14:12 is the qualifier of whether or not you pass or fail the test.

As the creator and editor-in-chief or whatever, that’s all I’m asking. If you want to write “conspiratorial” or Truther based articles or Scripture-based articles, or simply be a benefit to the community, then pursue the Father’s commands and declare the testimony of Yahusha. Really, it shouldn’t be too much to expect. And yet it is.

Last week, I had to remove almost every single administrator from my channel. I had to remove my sometimes editor. I even had to remove my co-writer. And unless things change, I no longer feel confident sharing his work. Why? Because, for whatever reason, holding the community and my contributors to a very simple standard, that Yahusha is the Son of Elohim, was too overbearing. Here’s some of the responses that I was told. By asking that they keep the faith in Yahusha as contributors to the community, I was “censoring the Truth” and “stifling their investigation.” I was “dropping a grenade.” Also, “I would regret” my actions.

It was total mutiny.

What I have witnessed over the last few months, here and in so many other places, is the spirit of antichrist. 1 John 2:22. The falling away is very real and it’s not a game. And I’ve never experienced anything like this before. I’m 40 years old. I grew up in the church. Pastor’s kid. Parsonage. And no matter what ministry I’ve been a part of, I’ve never seen anything like this, where almost everybody I’m working with can suddenly no longer confess Yahusha is adonai with their lips. I have had several people approach me afterwards, who watched that episode unfold, and tell me that they too have never experienced anything like that. One individual stated that it was nothing short of a spell being cast. There are more details to highlight that very real possibility, and in time, I may share them.

Call me whatever name you want. Call me “Orwellian Censorship.” You can go down any back alley or drainage pipe and dig for your anti-Messiah information. But I’m not bringing wolves into the sheepfold through this outlet. I won’t do it. I will burn The Unexpected Cosmology down to the ground and start again if it means having a brother or two in the faith who won’t stand there while a wolf devours the sheep and says: “Meh. We’re just testing all things.” What…?

Understand, I’m not telling this story to pull the focus away from myself through the flogging of others. Rather, I blame myself. My accusatory nature towards Paul has attracted a certain spirit. But it wasn’t until this particular episode when I finally connected the dots. Therefore, I am pleading with the community, DON’T DO THIS. Don’t deny Messiah. Don’t follow those who are leading you into a considerate anti-Messiah investigation, like lambs to the slaughter. Don’t allow yourself to be seduced by the spirit of antichrist. Remember your first love. Remember who it is that brought you to the Truth. And then remember the following words:

“Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven.”

Matthew 10:32



The Paul Investigation: Wolves


HERE’S A COUPLE of important “anti-Paul” observations I’ve uncovered over the last year. You know, the tricks of the trade. And it’s time you learned of them. Many in the “anti-Paul” crowd will claim I am being unfair. They will tell you that not everyone goes from denying Paul to dethroning Messiah. And though they would be correct, they are also attempting to deflect your attention away from the disease, hoping that it goes away on its own. They need to deal with it. And yet they won’t. So far, I have only encountered barricades of excuses. Mental gymnastics. Therefore, everyone is dutifully warned.

As part of my continued investigation into Paul, I was a member of an anti-Paul group on Facebook. And then one day it occurred to me that certain prominent members were also anti-Messiah. When an administrator finally came out with her anti-Messiah views, I immediately pulled the plug. I didn’t want anything to do with that sort of association, much less hanging with those individuals who felt it mattered little. Anyhow, my first question was: “Why would someone who’s against Yahusha still be concerned with Paul?”

They wouldn’t.

Unless, that is, they’re using Paul as a gateway drug. I mean, nobody starts out on crack-cocaine, right? Knowing that someone has a resentment towards Paul, they’re then able to introduce the person to the “next thing.” Last week the golden calf was Paul. Tomorrow it is Yahusha, you see. From there, the spiral only continues. Just wait until next month. They stand around watching you, like those alligators in my back yard, just waiting on their catch of the day.

Upon closer investigation, I started finding that some of those same “anti-Paul” individuals with “anti-Messiah” beliefs had also gone so far as to question or totally dismiss the Torah. Such beliefs may have originally been rooted in The Nazarene Acts, and if so, the very book that pulled them away from trusting Torah is no longer applicable, because it was “Messianic” literature. Ironic, right?

But that then begs the next question. If they’ve already thrown Torah into question, why are they still pushing the “anti-Paul” agenda? You probably already know the answer. Because they’re laying out bread crumbs, ultimately leading their catch of the day towards a rejection of all Truth. Revelation 14:12. Is this not the definition of a wolf? A wolf devours the sheep and scatters the flock. And the man who has no right playing the part of a shepherd proves himself to be the hireling and flees.



The Paul Apology


GOING PUBLIC, confessing where I’ve screwed up, and then being emotionally vulnerable about it is never easy. It’s like opening up a chink in your armor and then waving across the field at the archers. So, let’s recognize the obvious. There’s a lot of people angry with me right now—on both sides of the argument. Do I wish they weren’t? Most certainly. I wish I could settle upon something that makes everyone happy, but you and I know that’s never going to happen. There are people whom I truly care about, people whom I call friend, who still will not answer the phone and speak with me ever since coming out against the letters of you-know-who last April. I mourn their losses but hold no grudges for their decisions. They had reasons for setting those defining boundaries, perhaps good reasons, and I crossed them.

I’m not trying to pat myself on the butt here. Rather, I am morally responsible for my my words, actions, and agendas. People deserve to know where I believe I’ve erred, and also to be warned. I certainly hope the anti-Paul crowd is correct, and confident enough to stake their very souls on their claims, because I can no longer do that. The testimony against Paul are very severe. It should therefore be noted that the penalty of false witness against another brother is equally serious.

Here’s what Torah says:

“And the judges shall make careful inquiry, and indeed, if the witness is a false witness, who has testified falsely against his brother, then you shall do to him as he thought to have done to his brother; so you shall put away the evil from among you.”

Deuteronomy 19: 18-19

Do I want the same penalty directed at Paul? Hell no.

Another troubling observation I’ve had over the last several months is that, while I worked so diligently to prove the Twelve Disciples were writing against you-know-who, I began to notice that they never once mentioned him by name. Isn’t that interesting? Rather than playing the part of “the accuser,” the Disciples warned the assembly against false doctrine, and there’s a world of difference.

I don’t want to play the part of “the accuser” of the brethren. That’s Satan’s job. It is playing the part of “the accuser” which often turns from Paul to Yahusha, and then the Torah. See how that works? “The accuser” is at war with the saints. And quite frankly, receiving the punishment that I accused Paul of scares just about everything possible out of my body. It’s why I’ve been spending the last two weeks calling up different ministries and asking that they forgive me for any part I played in frustrating them.

From this point forward, I have no desire to teach from Paul nor read from Paul until everything can be settled. If I am to take the Disciples example, doctrine can be pointed out without naming the man. The Unexpected Cosmology will therefore test his writings, as all Scripture should be tested, but will not take part in slandering a man who claims to uphold Torah. Meanwhile, I would rather sigh heavily among a community of people who read Paul and love Yahusha by keeping his Father’s commands than the alternative. It’s not worth the pain and the suffering that I have seen. The sheer number of children indiscriminately playing a game of hot potato with a blazing stick of dynamite will equally show that there’s absolutely no peace in their life, as they no longer savor, or perhaps never yet discovered, the joy of Truth. I see only darkness.

If you happen to be among the “Anti-Paul” crowd and my apology upsets you or throws your shalom out of balance, then I kindly ask that you take it to prayer and consider subscribing to somebody else’s work.

My apologies go out to every person and Torah ministry which I have frustrated or hampered over the last year because of this issue. It’s not like I wasn’t warned. You were right. And I was wrong.

To you, I offer shalom.




“I said therefore unto you, that ye shall die in your sins: for if ye believe not that I am he, ye shall die in your sins.”

John 8:24



  1. Jonathan Emmert


    Thank you for sticking with the research and being willing to admit when you find yourself in error. I have followed you progression on things over the last 2 or 3 years and it has been quite the ride. I agree with much of the same conclusion you have come to but I have never just dove head first being unsure what I was diving into. I guess for me it was always just about Yahusha and so not much else really mattered. I didnt need those other books at the end of the NT because I was focused on Yahusha and Torah. I believe I still stand there today I don’t need Paul all I need is Yahusha sure Paul’s words can make you feel warm and fuzzy and that “it’s all good” but I don’t believe that’s what a true believer is. So in reality I believe you have become more in the position that I have been in reading the above article. Paul and his writings are in there and they arnt going anywhere but what matters is Yahusha. Thank you for all you have done in way of research and writing it has been a joy going on the ride. Your brother in Yahusha


    • Noel Joshua Hadley

      Yeah, thank you. If we’re supposed to find a second witness for everything, I think a lot can be said in just reading from the Torah/Tanakh, extra Biblical, and Secondary books (gospels and such) and excluding the epistles of Paul. Meaning, a lot can not be supported without him. If what he does say is supported, then fine, so be it.

      • Dг.Fλiltastic

        While I haven’t outright rejected Paul, I avoid him because of this whole (charade? kerfuffle? idk what to call it) as it has caused some doubt for me. Some things can just be written off as nitpicking or overthinking it, but one which I find outright irrefutable (so far as not having gone much deeper than the plain english text myself) against Paul are when he just outright says don’t get circumcised, while YES circumcision of the HEART is of first and foremost importance, I believe one (a man, specifically) should get circumcised in flesh BECAUSE his heart is circumcised; Also I find it an interesting challenge to undertake for one’s faith in general, and can most likely can be replicated with the rest of the talmidiym, Just remove one of them and what is your faith? Remove Paul and what is your faith? Or what is the overall message? Then remove, lets say, Matthew (while putting Paul back in of course) and what is your faith? Then John, Luke, etc. Obviously never going as far as to remove Messiah/Ishy cause He’s, ya know, the entire foundation of it! lol. I also find it interesting as to try and see where Paul is coming from w/ some of His reasoning, just thinking on different aspects of it per say, sort of like trying and better understand where someone is coming from, even if I believe they’re wrong…

  2. Brad

    When I was converted at age 25, after my first read through the new Testament, I remember thinking Paul was arrogant or schizophrenic. I gave him the benefit of the doubt with what Peter had to say about him and 25 years later after gaining a great deal more understanding into what he was dealing with culturally and personally, I believe he is sincere. He is frequently used by the modern church to do away with any semblance of Torah observance, and I wonder if he knew it would come to that and had to bear that burden. Like you, I went through a brief period of rebellion against Paul when I first came to understand the Hebrew roots of our faith. But, like when first converted, it was a zealous over reaction. Certainly not an issue to divide over. However, denying Yeshua is a serious matter, and one that for me is non negotiable. Unbelievers are one thing. Deniers are to be cast over for sifting.

    • Noel Joshua Hadley

      Thank you. That was a very considerate, mature, and helpful response. I have a lot to think through with how I’m going to tackle Paul in the future.

  3. Evelyne

    Thanks YHWH who put His Word in your heart so that you can see in time how much you might be sliding down the slope. I rejoice Abba Father has led you to stand firm in the truth. Just these days I was next to follow and read the “The Thirteenth Apostle” serie, and I got this surprise in your last post. Abba knows how much you love him, and I am sure he will continue to guide you in Truth and Love. Shalom.

  4. Lisa Holtham

    HalleluYah for answered prayers!!

  5. Nâtân

    Shalom Noel,

    I’m thankful for this article… It was very well written, and articulated with good intent. I myself avoided the whole controversy of Paul’s writings for a long time simply because I knew the dangers of what could possibly be “a slippery slope” for many people, including myself and the way I know my mind works… After all this time, I now see it’s fruitless nature in as much as you have addressed here in your writings. Not too long ago after being encouraged to look into the whole ordeal by a fellow brother, I learnt about the falling away that’s been happening, and it immediately vexed my spirit, and still does to this day… There is so much to say, and so much to discuss, but all I would like to say is HalleluYah… I am thankful I was led to read this message today. It has helped me to understand the feelings within my heart that I was unable to find the words to express on my own… I pray you all the best my brother.

    In the glorious name of Yahusha Ha’Mashiach, be blessed.

    Much love


  6. Anthony Angelo

    What type of Judaism is this? You Judiasers will always wish to condemn Paul, the man who understood clearly that Christ’s teaching stood ALONE. This desire to re-institute the synagogue of satan by forwarding false arguments against Paul will always fail. Your confused and frail spirit comes through in your weaselly voice, I can hear the Jewish perversion in every word you utter.

  7. Sandra

    This is a very timely post. Thank you for your honesty. I’m in the same place in this season. Re-examining. Constantly asking Abba Yah for clarity and better understanding of this issue. I never want to deny my Savior. And I also don’t want to be guilty of false testimony. SO much to keep in prayer. I have come to the place where I know I must keep silent about the matter and just keep moving forward with learning Torah and standing my ground on Yahusha Messiah. I certainly wouldn’t be here with out Him. HalleluYah.

  8. Sandra

    P.S. Will you be sharing your findings here as you test Paul’s writings? I’m looking for honest study on the matter.

  9. Yahushua's disciple

    How cowardly this all sounds. Sad really. Now you’re being just like Paul. Keeping in good standing with everyone to please everyone so you don’t become unpopular. That threatening tone towards ‘the anti Paul group’ though LOL! you’re so churchy! accusers? Yahushua accused, the Prophets accused, YHWH accuses, it is not demonic to accuse someone deserving of it and too right Paul needs accusing. Much of his epistles are about him dealing with accusations of him lying and being sneaky, which he was. You love Paul because your church dogma spirit is certainly shining through there and church is all about Paul. It’s all very double minded sounding too and James explains that type of instability well. So much for fighting for Truth! The reason they never call Paul outright (apart from Acts) is because he is a test. You don’t give the answers to those being tested! Grow some balls man and stop pandering to people’s feelings over the Truth – they who eat from Paul’s tree eat wormwood (see the billions of Torahless/lawless fruits for more info)

    • Joe

      I really don’t understand what all these issues are with the apostle Paul. Most of you are Gentiles and would never have even heard about the messiah if it wasn’t for the wonderful apostle to the Gentiles – Paul/Saul of Tarsus. Paul knew the Torah and the oral form of the Talmud (Mishnah and Gemara) better than any of the twelve disciples did. And his understanding of the doctrine of Christ, coupled with deep Hebrew/Jewish roots, was more profound than anybody else in the New Testament. Paul taught the same Gospel as did Yeshua, and Yeshua was Paul’s spiritual teacher. If any of you don’t like Paul, then you don’t like or agree with Yeshua. It really is that simple.

    • Ephraim Solomon

      Your name and your words don’t go together. You are not a disciple of Yahusha so you are allowed to leave this site.

  10. Jason

    It is always good to wrestle with the gospel and it can only help with holding to the faith when you ask big questions. I constantly ask these questions too. Interesting in the comments above, and I have seen this said many times, is that Paul is said he looks like a schizophrenic, especially in Romans. Part of the problem is we have a tendency to read the letters like a letter that we write today. From what I see, Paul was using a common way of writing called prosopopoeia. The letter actually had to be acted out in a way like a play. It was important for the person delivering the letter to know how to act it out. And Romans had to be “acted” out. It was kind of like a good cop/bad cop thing. Douglas Campbell writes about this in his massive 1200 page book the Deliverance of God. It really starts to change how you look at the letters. We may have been reading them incorrectly all along. Keep questioning! Blessings!


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