HAS it been nearly two whole years now since I published this report. Nearly. How time flies when you’re having fun researching and writing during a CDC pandemic. If you’re confused about the topic at hand, don’t be. That is why I am here, to help clarify. It’s in the title. Nobody clubbed Nancy Kerrigan. She and the redneck mullet crew were actors reading their lines from an Intel script, which include the nationwise catchphrase: “Why!? Why!? Why!?” The entire episode is a hoax. I’ve cleaned up the article considerably and added new details, including the ridiculous evidence which a dumpster diver uncovered at a random restaurant in Portland, proving Harding’s guilt and cracking open an otherwise dead investigation. Yes, the official narrative is a comedy. I’m just here to report upon it.
Here is my report.