MARY’S SONG
by Randy Conway
With a mother’s eyes I beheld You,
With a mother’s arms I held You,
With a mother’s heart I loved You
With a mother’s soul I died with You.
I nursed You, I dressed You
I held Your hand when You were afraid.
I fed You, I taught You
I kissed You when in bed You lay.
With a mother’s love I watched while You grew
But a distant shadow lingered and I knew
Although it has been long since it was spoken
My mother’s heart would soon be broken.
The prophet’s words sometimes I still hear
I often wonder if the time is near.
I was not prepared for what I would see
As the shadow of the cross fell on me.
I could not look and could not look away
How long on this cross must you stay?
I wished I hadn’t asked You to turn water into wine
I look at You, the fault is mine.
My heart is pierced I cannot bear the pain
I long for days of joy again.
When the prophet said “You would be rejected”
I didn’t know that meant detested.
I hold the cross in a tight embrace
Longing as a mother to take your place.
I remember how I praised the Lord, rejoiced in God my Savior
I remember how my heart swelled when I was in the pains of labor
That pain dwindles and cannot compare
With the pain I felt while standing there.
I hang on every word You speak, I die with every groan
It seems as if, no one else exists, I was standing there alone.
The price for redemption seems too large for me
I could feel the thorns, the nails, the tree.
I lost control, my emotions surged, as I stood there shuddering
My companions’ efforts of comfort were but obscure mutterings
I cried out to God, I longed to die
But it was you who died, not I.
I don’t remember eating, I don’t remember sleeping,
All time was lost
Whether dreaming or awake, in every shadow in every place
Every moment I see the cross.
Where is the God to whom I sang?
“Oh how I praise the Lord.
How I rejoice in God my Savior!
For He took notice of His lowly servant girl,
And now generation after generation will call me blessed.
For He, is the Mighty One, is holy,
And He has done great things for me.
His mercy goes on from generation to generation,
To all who fear Him.
His mighty arm does tremendous things!
How He scatters the proud and haughty ones!
He has taken princes from there thrones
And exalted the lowly.” Luke 1:46-52
Has He now abandoned me? Does He know that I am lost?
Haunted by images of my Son, His pain, His cross.
Then word comes that erases all my pain,
The word has come Jesus lives again.
Forgive me that I ever doubted Lord
I knew the promise of Your Word
No other mother ever knew such grief
No other God could grant relief.
Old memories replace the recent ones
I reminisce about my Son
With a mother’s eyes I beheld You,
With a mother’s arms I held You,
With a mother’s heart I love You.
A mother’s soul I give to you.
By Randy Conway