“THESE ARE THE LAST AND ONLY WORDS SPOKEN BY OG THE REPHAIM as told to Onzal the Slayer of the Smaller Selves before Baal.” So begins the most blasphemous ancient document that I’ve ever read. From its opening lines King Og wants everyone to know of his pathetic life’s wholly-forgettable accomplishments. Namely, that he was a Baal worshiping, baby sacrificing, flesh eating and fecal spraying sadist. Actually, King Og might want to rip “the jelly of my eyes from my stupid skull” and squeeze them over the burning altar of Baal for saying this, but he’s clearly a pathological liar too. I’m being kind. Basically, amongst several dozen pages of psychotic trash talk, he is as full of the very fecal matter which he so energetically accused others of. But Og was also a giant, specifically of the Rephaim, and the last of his kind. As such, I find nothing credible about his testimony. But the terrible truth still remains. King Og did walk this Earth at one time, as documented in Deuteronomy 3:11. And he dictated the writing of a book to Onzal “the Slayer of the Smaller Selves” before Baal. It is a book once lost to the ages but which I now hold in my hands.

“For only Og king of Bashan remained of the remnant of giants; behold his bedstead was a bedstead of iron; is it not in Rabbath of the children of Ammon? nine cubits was the length thereof, and four cubits the breadth of it, after the cubit of a man. (Deuteronomy 3:11)”

Even centuries after its last known copies went either missing in the ruinous sands of time or were purposefully destroyed—speculation as to its whereabouts were rightfully pitted with the Vatican—King Og was synonymous with the term blasphemous. Really, there’s no end to it. But truth be told, if I am grateful for stumbling upon this wicked and vile book—the only written words of the Rephaim—it’s because this son of a fallen angel, literally a demon incarnate, helps to answer the long standing theological questions and concerns as to why God commanded the Israelites to cleanse the land. Wickedness thrived. More specifically, in the five-hundred years since Abraham’s seed promise, while the Hebrew people were involuntarily digging ditches in Egypt, Satan was busy filling the Promised Land with wretched, beastly creatures who waged war against God Almighty.

This is important. But perhaps not everyone will agree. It is my contention that Og’s entire book—be it a short, rather unintelligible script, seemingly dictated through the reading level of an elementary child and never rising above the maturity of an adolescent—was written with the approaching Israelites in mind; specifically their God, Jehovah.

Think of “The Lost Book of King Og” as Biblical footnotes.

Circumcision is central to this narrative. It is what Og regularly refers to as being half-loined. Accordingly, King Nimrod’s Nephilim kingdom enforced circumcision in his half of the land, while King Og, claiming the other Rephaim half, did not. Og’s insistence that he personally knew Nimrod “the Mighty Hunter,” as he calls him (a familiar title in the Torah), or “blood of my own lineage,” is questionable at best, especially considering the builder of Babel had died some several hundred years earlier. The expected lifespan of any individual during this post-flood age had shrunken considerably, teetering somewhere around 120 years. Abraham and Nimrod were contemporaries. Og, likely not.

Rather, Moses and Joshua were Og’s contemporaries, and as “The Lost Book of King Og” progresses, the unmistakable fact that their intermingled narratives are destined, or rather Og’s soon approaching doom, is made known.

Certainly, the micro-cult of “circumcision” did exist in ancient Egypt and Babylonian society, yet Og’s claim, more-so his hateful obsession with Nimrod’s half-loined member, may perhaps be a misdirected projection when in fact he is antagonizing the approaching children of Abraham. Og is all talk; a second-rate king in a forgettable redneck outpost. It is uncertain if the “Genesis” portion of the Torah had been completed by Moses at this time, but Nimrod was likely a popular oral tradition among Hebrew culture, being the first anti-redeemer, or “antichrist,” of their faith. This might explain why Og would offhandedly, almost passive-aggressively, claim: “All who circumcise their members claim allegiance to Nimrod.”

I take it the wandering Israelites didn’t buy Og’s ogre-like attitude, specifically his claimed association with “the Mighty Hunter” of old and whatever intimate knowledge he might have had concerning the lack of foreskin on Nimrod’s “vomit soaked” half-loined genitals. The King of Bashan was a hustler, yet as his writing progresses, preferring the toot of his own horn rather than the common sense necessary to keep his once-flourishing species from extinction, arrogance claims the best of him. Not that Nimrod and Og were on speaking terms either, by his own fictional account of history. If I can state Og’s feelings towards Nimrod, he says, and I quote: “Only a half-loined Nephilim coward murders a child. For this offense and more I regularly urinated upon his dead fecal bones….corpse….until the meat and offal peeled away. Till the end of my days, I will take the daily fecal journey to choke his Nephilim corpse.”

From here and progressing onward (being only 2 pages into the giants blasphemous attempt at authorship), the King of Bashan’s fictional auto-biography only expands in the most epic yet outrageous of Biblical proportions. He writes: “I will tell tales of how the Nephilim vomit-soaked circumcised Nimrod offended all of the Rephaim. How in his stupidity half-loined Nimrod defied Baal, thus causing Baal of the earth to guide my unforgiving hands after war to his death.”

Future chapters will enlighten us as to who this murdered child was. As they will with this following oddity, when only a few sentences later, Og informs us: “Nimrod is the circumcised Nephilim who killed us all.”

Expect a series of posts to follow. More to come….

Maranatha from Ontario!

Noel