Is Tom Hanks in the Black Eye Club?

by | Mar 27, 2020

It’s been dubbed “The Black Eye Club,” and so far as I can tell, we’re witnessing a completely new phenomena, even for secret societies. It’s almost like “Fight Club” told us this would happen in 1999, because suddenly politicians, elite entrepreneurs, musicians, and actors are showing up to work with black eyes and lame excuses.

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President George W. Bush was apparently attacked by a microphone. In another instance, he choked on a pretzel, fainted and fell off the couch and hit the floor.

Pope Francis was an unfortunate victim of the Pope Mobil.

Lady Gaga was attacked by a pole.

Madonna was “playing peekaboo with a baby.”

Democrat Senator Harry Reid was sucker-punched by an elastic exercise band at the gym.

A Buckingham Palace spokesperson said Prince Philip simply woke up with a black eye in 2015. Seems legit.

When Prince Andrew, who was a frequent flyer on convicted pedophile billionaire Jeffrey Epstein’s “Lolita Express”, also sported a shiner when he attended the Countess Mountbatten of Burma’s funeral in June 2017, Buckingham simply responded: “This is not something we would comment on.”

Steve Buscemi was involved in a bar room brawl which, come to think of it, actually makes sense for once.

The most prominent theory is that this has something to do with initiation rites, or perhaps a ceremony and sign of allegiance within the Illuminati, and I’d have to agree.

My only conclusion thus far is that we’re witnessing a rather bizarre worship of the Egyptian sun god Horus. In the Mysteries of Isis, Horus’ left eye was black, representing the moon. His right eye was white, representing the sun. These are also the two pillars of Freemasonry. The third pillar, or the third eye, represents the Kabbilistic tree of life and the god within. Actually, Horus lost one eye while reclaiming the throne from his uncle Set. That eye was restored through the alchemical powers of Thoth Hermes.

And now with the coronavirus, celebrities everywhere are tweeting each other in strange, cryptic messages, as if the adrenochrome has begun to wear off. Ellen’s out of breath. Madnonna’s in a milk bath, surrounded by rose pedals, reading slam poetry about how Corona’s “the great equalizer.” Meanwhile, Tom Hanks, who obsessively takes pictures of a little boy or girls one lost shoe, stands next to Oprah and Gayle King and a hot dog clock with a newly acquired shiner of his own and a sign that reads: “I am not allowed to talk….”

Based off of this photo alone, one is left to wonder whether Oprah or Gayle threw the punch.

David Space recently said: “Whatever happens to Tom Hanks happens to us.”

This is a strange world that we live in.

 

-Noel

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